


The Worst of Passions Pledged

by nomadicharmony



Series: Chase the Evening Instead [1]
Category: Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, LGBTQ Female Character, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Original Character(s), Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Original Nonbinary Character(s) - Freeform, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-04-18 23:10:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4723760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomadicharmony/pseuds/nomadicharmony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amber Largo has finally been allowed to move into her own apartment. Her roommate? The gorgeous Magdalene Defoe, star of the Music Department. Attraction sparks between them as early as their very first days living together, but a certain wealthy and controlling father doesn't seem to approve...</p><p>Note: as of 1/22/2016, I have made the decision to edit and republish chapters 1-7 due to sloppy writing and plot mistakes, so be on the lookout for updated chapters in the near future!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pushing Ahead of the Dames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Amber moves in and the Largo siblings get very drunk.

_If she says she can do it, then she can do it, she don't make false claims But she's a queen and such are queens that your laughter is sucked in their brains -- David Bowie, “Queen Bitch”_

“Carmela Largo,” the professor called, squinting down at the list of students.

For the fourth time that day, she very patiently raised her hand and when acknowledged, she said, “I go by the name Amber.”

“Duly noted, Miss Amber, thank you.” The professor resumed roll call as normal, and Amber looked down at her desk in a daze, still tired from the previous night’s events and too lost in the copy of _Fight Club_ she was reading in a .pdf on her phone to care what anyone else’s name was.

The tiny girl who sat in the desk in front of her, with black hair in an undercut, was tapping her foot gently, and the sound would have, on any other day, possibly annoyed her, but today the steady, quiet beat was keeping her grounded. It was Friday, the last class of the last day of the first week of her sophomore year. She hated the repetitive, confusing way that sentence sounded in her mind, but she also didn’t have the energy to phrase it any other way. She’d been living with her older brother Pavi and his eccentric roommates for the last couple of weeks, gradually moving things into the apartment that she would be sharing with one of his other friends, and tonight, she was going to be officially staying at the apartment her first night.

The new roomie’s name was Magdalene, called Mag by those she was close to, and nicknamed “Blind Mag” among her peers because of her terrible eyesight, which she sometimes remedied with contact lenses, but she could typically be seen in large, black-framed glasses that drew even more attention to her massive blue eyes than usual. She was a Vocal Performance major, a little quiet and bookish at first, but Pavi chuckled and said that she tended to really open up once you got to know her. Amber wasn’t sure if she considered that to be a good thing or not, as Pavi’s friends were a little more “out there” than Amber was a fan of. However, Mag had a steady desk-job at a clinic and that seemed to be a good sign. Her half of the rent was guaranteed because of her father, and it seemed that Mag would easily be able to provide her portion of it.

Her nerves were getting worse, the more she thought about living on her own, without the protection of her brothers, but she knew they would be a call away if she needed them-- and besides, nothing sounded better than being away from her father. A summer living at home with him again, after having the taste of independence that the dorms had offered, had been absolutely miserable, and that she was ready to be away from.

_Amber, you’re my daughter and I love you, but you’re terrible._

It was funny, so funny when Bob Belcher said it, but not so much when Rotti Largo, health insurance executive extraordinaire and shitty fucking excuse for a father said it to his motherless 19-year-old daughter. Luigi didn’t think it was funny when she called him late at night sobbing. Pavi didn’t think it was funny when she drank herself into a stupor each time Dad actually let her go over to his apartment. Her friends didn’t think it was funny at all each time she lost contact with them because Dad took her phone away again...

_Not gonna think about Dad, not gonna think about Dad, not gonna think about Dad…_

Obviously this reading thing wasn’t doing much to distract her from her pain, so she pulled out her notebook instead, turned to a blank page, and turned to one of the other things that brought her joy, sketching. Soon there was a face on her paper, and long dark hair curling around it, half a vicegrip and half a soothing warm scarf to protect that frail neck from the cold. She drew a lot of characters, not so much by choice, more by accident. People were easier than landscapes and plants and animals, or at least to her. She always wondered who these people were that she drew, and if the fact that the same three nameless people graced her notebook constantly was some sign that she was a lunatic, but all she knew was that Rotti fucking Largo was not anywhere near this notebook, and that knowledge was enough.

When it was finally time to leave class, she stuffed her books into her backpack and her phone into her bra, fished her car keys out of her purse, and walked to the parking lot. Before getting inside, she checked the backseat to see how much stuff she still had to bring in, and she saw with relief that it was only the last four boxes of the World-Famous Amber Carmela Largo Sweet CD Collection, which could be handled and sorted onto her shelf in about 20 minutes, tops, which left plenty of time for lounging in bed, finishing what little reading homework she had, and then whatever the hell she wanted to do. As she sat down in the driver’s seat and checked her phone one last time before she started to drive, she saw a text from Luigi that she must have missed, and it simply read: _Call me when you get out of your Lit class._ With a sigh, she dialed him and plugged the phone into the aux cord so she could drive in peace while they talked.

“Hello?”

“What do you want, brother dear?” she asked.

“You left all your Twenty One Pilots CDs at my apartment,” he said matter-of-factly.

She sighed. That would explain why she hadn’t been able to find _Vessel_ the other night. “Shit. When did I do that?”

“It was like two days ago, I don’t remember why you brought them over here, but they were on my coffee table and I figured you would want them back eventually. I’m going out to get groceries later, so I might come by and bring them to you, unless you were going out tonight or something.”

“Going out the first weekend of school starting back sounds miserable, so no, definitely not doing that. I’m just gonna finish organizing the World-Famous Amber Carmela Largo Sweet CD Collection, which that’s not gonna take long, then I’m going to do whatever the fuck I want for the rest of the night.”

“What an ambitious plan. Remind me your address again?”

“It’s 237 Zdunich Lane.”

“That’s the worst street name I’ve ever heard. What apartment number?”

“17. It’s the one with the cacti outside the door.”

“Okay. I miiight stop by later tonight. See you later, maybe.”

“Mmmhmm.” She hung up, and made the last two minutes of the drive to her apartment in silence, lacking even the energy to press play on the car stereo and listen to the mix she’d made last week that sat waiting to be played. Since she didn’t spend much time in the car during the school year, she realized she hadn’t even played it all the way through once yet. When she got to the apartment, she turned the door handle out of habit as she dug for the keys and she noticed with some surprise that the door had been left unlocked-- she had only met Mag a few times, but she didn’t seem like the type that would leave the door open. She felt a sting of guilt, remembering that she’d brought her desk lamp here before her 9 a.m., meaning it had probably been her own careless mistake. She’d have to be more careful next time. She went into her room, carrying the first of the boxes, and nudged the light switch with her elbow.

“Surprise, motherfucker!” She nearly dropped the box in absolute shock. Luigi sprang up from her bed, and Pavi somersaulted out from the bathroom (fucking showoff), both of them throwing handfuls of glitter.

“W-what the....what the absolute fuck?” she demanded, hugging T-U of the World-Famous Amber Carmela Largo Sweet CD Collection to her chest as if the music could protect her from her own less-than-trustworthy siblings.

“We’re throwing you a surprise housewarming party!” the Pavi insisted with a flourish.

“And we brought some good stuff!” Luigi motioned to the desk, where several bottles of wine and hard liquor were accompanied by three glasses and a small ice bucket. She let out a laugh, but she wasn’t sure if it was out of relief that her apartment had not in fact been broken into, or amusement at her brothers’ antics.

“We told Mag, and she let us in on the secret location of the spare key, but as it happens, somebody left the door unlocked this morning,” Pavi pointed out with a theatrical emphasis on all the right words, shooting Amber a suggestive look as he poured himself a glass of Chardonnay.

“You should really be careful about that; you never know what weirdos are just going to waltz into your apartment and set up camp in your bedroom.” Luigi took the box from her hands, gave her a playful kiss on the forehead, and started to arrange them on the bookshelf by the door, almost as carefully as she herself would have.

Between the two of them, the WFACLSCC was quick work, ten minutes at the most. Pavi offered his help, but two of them working at the bookshelf was already a little crowded, and he didn’t have the kind of detail-oriented eye that was necessary for the careful art of CD arranging. When they were finished, the three Largoes played a vicious game of Cards Against Humanity, with especially high stakes-- winner got to pick the movie they would watch. Pavi was staunchly advocating a Julia Roberts marathon, Luigi wanted desperately to make his younger siblings understand the greatness of Rocky, and Amber just wanted to sing along to RENT.

Well, the three Largoes tried to play a vicious game of Cards Against Humanity.

Pavi got a little too drunk too quickly, and refused to play by the proper rules of the game, blurting out answers to all of the black cards instead of actually using the cards in his hand. After thirty minutes, Luigi and Amber gave up, and she conceded victory to Luigi, who at first felt guilty and promised she could watch RENT if she wanted to, but she insisted that he could pick, as she could watch RENT at any time. With an absurd, victorious grin, Luigi jumped over to her DVD stack, put in Rocky, and settled into Amber’s beanbag chair with a grin.

They watched the movie in peace for a few minutes, as Amber worked on a huge glass of Jack and Coke. Pavi rolled off Amber’s bed and crawled over to Luigi, begging to do his makeup, and despite not being wasted out of his mind, he was buzzed enough to agree to it, even knowing that Pavi planned on taking photos of the finished look for his makeup portfolio. Amber thought for a moment that Luigi would regret it when he was sober, but then she remembered that he was vain as hell and probably really enthusiastic about the idea of being featured in Pavi’s portfolio.

As Adrian and Rocky shared their first kiss, and as Pavi contoured Luigi’s already-prominent cheekbones with a surprisingly gentle touch, Amber heard the front door open, and Mag slid into the doorway of her room nervously.

“Looks like you’re all settled in, huh? Sorry I wasn’t able to help, rehearsal tonight and then I got dragged out for drinks.”

Amber looked at her for a long time before attempting to answer, trying to take in what she was seeing. There was an exceptionally short, high-waisted black lace skirt hugging Mag’s hips, and she’d paired it with a snug pink crop top that barely held her surprisingly perky breasts. Her long, thick black hair was falling in gently teased waves, and her usual glasses had been traded for contact lenses.

“Magsy!” Pavi exclaimed, dropping his brush and darting toward her for a hug. “You look so ravishing,” he murmured teasingly, squeezing her waist.

“Thank you, that was the intention,” she said with a giggle, throwing her arm around his shoulders.

“Sorry about Amber, she’s drunk, she has a hard time with words after she’s had too much. She says hi, though. And I can’t remember, have you met Luigi?”

“I have, good to see you again. I think you went to Darren’s with us once?”

“I did, hi,” he said with a gentle wave. “Do I look pretty?”

“You do, you have me beat!” she laughed.

“Pavi’s putting me in his portfolio,” he said matter-of-factly, taking a large sip from the wine glass beside him.

“Awesome." Mag clearly didn't know Luigi very well, and wasn't sure 

“You should go put on something comfy and join us! We’re throwing Amber a little apartment-warming party, we have drinks!” Pavi started to ruffle the hem of her skirt teasingly, and she held it down, clearly a little peeved.

“I think I will, just give me a moment to take off all this makeup. See you guys in a moment,” she waved shyly before departing.

As soon as she left the room, Amber remembered how to speak-- but just barely. “Shit,” she breathed.

“She’s hot,” Luigi agreed.

“She’s gorgeous, isn’t she?” Pavi demanded.

“She’s more of a casual dresser most of the time, you know, jean jackets and little loose skirts and leggings and stuff, I mean, it’s cute, she looks good, but when she dresses up… God. She could have anyone she wanted.”

“She sure fucking could,” Amber murmured, tipping back her head to take a long swig of her drink.

“I would do anything for that girl,” Luigi groaned.

“Well, brother dear, you’re, er, not exactly her… type,” Pavi murmured, attempting to convey some semblance of discretion.

“What do y-- oh. Oh, okay.” Luigi nodded, and Pavi promptly went back to doing his makeup, neither of them seeming interested in saying more on the matter.

“You’re not going to use pink lipstick on me again, are you?” he demanded.

“No, pink wouldn’t complement this look at all.”

“Pink doesn’t look good with my complexion, you should try a mauve or something.”

“I was thinking purple, actually, but we shall see,” he sang lightly.

Amber swirled the drink in her hand, and stared into it, trying to think of something other than those thighs, and Pavi, seeming to notice the strange state of mind that she was in, tried in his funny drunken way to start a conversation. “So what are your classes like? Meet anybody?”

“I’ve met a couple people. There’s a girl in my Lit class who is sweet, I don’t remember her name. She’s a freshman, I think.”

“Ahh, the little ones are so cute. Have you met all the new Musical Theater majors yet?”

“Not yet, I’ll probably see them at auditions. What about you?”

“Yeah, the peer mentoring thing that I do. There’s some talented little people coming into the Department, we’ll be leaving our school in good hands.”

“Pavi, you realize I’m a sophomore, right? You’re the one graduating at the end of this year, not me.”

“Well, you know what I mean.”

Mag came back into the room, donning loose pajama bottoms, a short snug wifebeater tank, and her glasses, and Amber expected that she would feel better, but instead, when she sat down next to her on the bed, when Amber was close enough to her to see that her beauty lay not in any makeup or in clothes, but in the way she was shaped and the scent of her and the careless river of her sable hair...well, then she was just mad. A woman should not be allowed to be this stunning. Mag turned to her, fidgeting with the drawstrings of her pants, and smiled.

“So, good first week of school?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s been good. It’s been… good.”


	2. Tear in My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Amber gets aggressively smacked with the gay. (trigger warning: spider mention)

Chapter Two- My Taste in Music is Your Face

_My heart is my armor_

_She's the tear in my heart_

_She's a carver_

_She's a butcher with a smile_

_Cut me farther_

_Than I've ever been_

_\- Twenty One Pilots, "Tear in my Heart"_

When Amber woke the next morning, Mag was lying asleep beside her. Sunlight was struggling to filter through the crack between the thick purple curtains, and the way it got caught in the thick, dark hair that had taken possession of the pillow was maddening.

It was a few minutes before she realized the implications of Mag being in her bed, and before she realized her hands were in Mag's hair, and that Mag's hair was as soft as it had looked.

Without making a sound, she took her fingers out of Mag's curls, rolled onto her back as far away from Mag as she could get, and put both hands over her nose and mouth, in hopes that she could silence her panicked breathing enough to keep from waking Mag up. Focusing on a damaged spot on the ceiling, she stared upward, refusing to even glance at her, and forced herself to breathe, in and out, in and out, in and out.

_Amber, you slept with her. You slept with a girl apparently, but it's okay. You were drunk. Your brother is bi, anyway, so it's not necessarily a bad thing. And you might not even be bi, really, it just happened. It's okay, living with her won't be that awkward, I'm sure. She was probably buzzed, too, she probably doesn't even remember… Besides, if you were gonna sleep with a girl, at least you managed to get with the prettiest one you know._

Amber looked over, found herself admiring those full lips, pouting in sleep, and forced herself to look back up.

_Amber, you're straight. And you're sober now. Stop ogling at this girl, it happened and now it's done._

A gentle, sleepy whimper came from beside her, and she felt Mag start to roll over. She took her hands off her face in an attempt to seem natural, and looked over at her. "So...uh...what happened last night?"

Mag giggled a little, and started to collect her hair into a ponytail. "You fell asleep probably thirty minutes after I got back. Pavi finished doing Luigi's makeup, took some pictures for his portfolio or whatever, and then we started Rocky II, actually made it through that one and got twenty or thirty minutes into the third one before they were both just too drunk and sleepy and had to go to bed. Luigi didn't know how to take his makeup off and started crying, I wish you had seen that."

"Seriously?" Amber laughed.

"Yep. I expected Pavi to be like 'you idiot,' but he was so sweet, he just hugged him and was like 'it's okay, buddy,' and showed him how to use a makeup wipe, and I made them a pallet on the floor. Come over here and look at these nerds."

Amber leaned over Mag to look and them, and sure enough, her two brothers were lying under a stack of blankets on the carpet, holding hands like they had when they were children. She laughed at them, and tried not to think about how soft and warm Mag's body felt under her own.

"I was awake for maybe an hour longer, but then I just...passed out. Sorry about crashing in your bed."

"N-no, it's...it's fine...I just thought…"

Mag's finely plucked brows drew together. _Damn, she has cute eyebrows. I hate this._ "Thought what?"

"Nothing, I just thought we...we'd fucked or something." It was rare that Amber blushed, being a pretty confident person usually, but her cheeks were now uncomfortably warm- they were giving her away.

"With your brothers in the room?" She laughed, but not a condescending laugh, a surprisingly sweet one.

"Well, I didn't realize they were still here, and besides, I mean, I don't even know what you're into. I mean, Pavi's said things that kind of implied that you were… into girls, too, but he just figured out that he's bi, and I'm happy for him, but now he kind of thinks that everybody else is gay or something like it also…"

She stopped speaking, and noticed a funny look on Mag's face, somewhere between amusement and confusion.

"Well, I am a lesbian," she answered. "I hope that's not awkward for you, I thought Pavi would have outright told you before you moved in with me or else I would have by now. But yeah, I'm exclusively into girls. I think Pavi kind of wants us to sleep together, in his own weird little Pavi-esque way, he's said some things to me."

"Like what?"

"Well, I don't know that this is even a legitimate example, since he was drunk as hell last night, but he and Luigi kept petting you while you were asleep and saying 'oh, our sister is super pretty, you should date her.' He's less direct when he's awake, and Luigi has actually never had a full conversation with me before, so I don't know what his stance is on the matter when he's sober. At least he's not weird about it?"

Amber laughed again, whether it was at her brothers' drunk antics or out of her own embarrassment she couldn't tell. "Yeah, I don't know what's up with them. They know that I'm straight. I'm sorry. There's a reason that we don't drink together very often, and now you know why."

"You three are...an amusing bunch when you're intoxicated. Or they are, I didn't actually get to see very much of drunk Amber. I can tell you all really love each other, though, and that's pretty cute."

"We're adorable, what can I say?" She scrunched her face into a mock grin and put her hands on either side of her face to exaggerate her point.

"Luigi was too far gone to hold a coherent conversation with me, but he was telling me in bits and pieces about how proud he is of you guys for majoring in Musical Theatre and doing what you want with your lives, and it was honestly very sweet."

"Yeah, he's a little dweeb, but he's good."

"What did he major in?"

"Business. Dad cherry-picked him to carry on the family name, and besides, he's the only one of us with no artistic eye."

She heard a groan coming from the floor. "I can hear you fuckers talking about me, you know."

"It's not very nice to call us fuckers, you fuck-face," Amber called, throwing a pillow over Mag's head and in the general direction of her sibling. Afterwards, she heard Pavi whimper.

"Amber, you bitch, you woke up the baby." Luigi petted his brother's dark hair and pulled the covers over his chin. "Go back to sleep, Pavi, nothing's wrong."

"Mmkay," he mumbled, and rolled over, falling back to sleep without fail.

"So you're awake now, I see," Mag commented, resting her head on her arms. Trying to be casual, Amber laid her head between Mag's shoulder blades so she could also see her brother, as he didn't show any sign of wanting to rise from the floor.

"Yup. I want a cigarette, but I also don't want to move, so here I lie."

Amber found it difficult to decide where to place her hand, but she settled on the ribcage area. She saw a hint of a smile flash across Mag's lips, and her heart paused for a longer moment than usual between beats.

_She wants me to touch her. She likes this._

That little smile motivated her to slide her hand down the curve of her waist and to her hip. Luigi didn't seem to catch the motion, thank God, but Mag did and her body tensed underneath her in what appeared to be lust. She didn't want to admit it to herself, but Mag's every reaction to her closeness filled her with some type of intoxicating power. Mag found her attractive, that much was evident. The knowledge that a girl as gorgeous as her seemed to want more of her touch was immensely flattering. It made her think that maybe, just maybe, she would give her a little more of what she wanted…

She pictured teasing Mag, hugging her now and then, cuddling, making her writhe with agony until she begged for a kiss, kissing her until she begged for more and then… would she go all the way with Mag? No, no. Probably not. But if she was drunk enough… if Mag wanted it badly enough...

_I'm straight, though. Very straight. Straighter than Luigi, and he is as straight as it gets...Right? Maybe?_

Amber blushed, and Mag turned to her to look. If there was such a thing as bedroom eyes, that was what Mag was giving her right now- and in front of Luigi? Pavi was right, this girl may have looked like a pixie, but she was ballsy.

Luigi finally rose from the floor and got his pack of cigarettes off the desk. "I'm gonna go take a breath of fresh air. When I'm done, we should go get breakfast or something."

"Who's gonna wake Pavi up?" Mag asked.

Luigi laughed. "Waking Pavi up is a fucking death wish, toots. We'll bring something back for him in case he ever wakes up."

They found a booth together at the Waffle House, across from a middle-aged but handsome enough father and his daughter, both of whom Mag seemed to know. She went over and said hi, chatting for a few minutes. Amber glanced keenly at the girl, knowing she looked familiar, and finally she figured out that it was the sweet little freshman in her Literature survey.

"She's cute," Luigi murmured, taking a sip of his coffee while glancing over at the girl.

"She's probably only 18, chill out," Amber replied.

"She's not, she's got to be at least a junior." As a result of his older brother complex, Luigi had a rule that he didn't date anybody that was younger than Pavi (who, for the record, was 21), but that rule caused him a great deal of frustration sometimes, and Amber took great pleasure in watching her dear old Lou suffer.

At that point, Mag returned to the table, and the girl had come with her. "Amber, this is Shilo. She's a friend of mine, we work at the clinic together. And this is her dad, Dr. Wallace."

She motioned to him, and the two Largoes waved politely. Mag settled in next to Amber, and Shilo shyly sat down next to Luigi, who shifted in his seat.

"So how old are you?" Amber asked bluntly, to prove her point.

"I'm 18," Shilo answered, tucking a loose bang behind her ear.

"Dammit," Luigi muttered into his coffee cup.

It was evident that Shilo heard him, but she chose to ignore it. "So you're in Professor Bousman's class with me, right? Global Lit?" she asked, turning to Amber.

"Yeah, I am."

"I thought you looked familiar! Are you a freshman, too?"

"No, I'm a sophomore. I'm just taking my time with my gen eds."

"I'm trying to get mine all out of the way first so I can get into my major-specific classes. I tested out of most of the math and science credits, and I could have gotten out of this class, but I wanted to make sure I was up to par with college essay-writing standards before I move up, you know?"

Amber smiled. This little nerd was endearing- her pretty face lit up when she talked about school, and that was something she didn't see very often now that her own freshman year was over. "What's your major?"

"Biology, with a concentration in entomology. And a Creative Writing minor, for funsies."

"Entomology? Like...bugs?" Luigi asked incredulously.

"Yup! I know it's weird, but I really love bugs. They're so little and strange and I love them. I even have a pet tarantula at home, you want to see her?" she asked, pulling out her phone.

"Umm...okay?"

Shilo pulled up a picture of a medium-sized brown tarantula resting in her palm, and passed it around to the group. "This is my baby. Her name is Tyler."

As far as furry spiders go, Amber had to admit it was a little bit cute. They all murmured something affirmative and Shilo's smile got even wider. "I had to beg Dad to let me buy one. He thought it was so weird and annoying at first, and he was like 'get a dog, get a cat, get a chinchilla, anything but a fucking spider" and I sat him down and showed him how much more expensive all of those things would be than taking care of one little spider, and then he came around. And she's a sweetie! She sits in my hand and she, like, snuggles up to me, it's so cute!"

They got distracted when the waitress came to refill drinks, and joked about Shilo hiding from her dad. The conversation drifted to the moving and unpacking process, and Shilo was content to listen, though she seemed to be scrolling social media under the table, chuckling periodically as she saw a funny post.

"So, you've got quite an impressive CD collection," Mag commented. "I was looking at some of them this morning before we left."

Luigi shook his head. "It's not just any CD collection."

Mag looked first at him, then at Amber, who was nodding in agreement, and she started to get a little worried. "What is it, then?"

"It's the World-Famous Amber Carmela Largo Sweet CD Collection," Amber said, taking a bite of hash browns as she spoke.

"It can also be referred to as the WFACLSCC. But anything less is treason," Luigi finished.

"You'd better not let her catch you, or you will be punished."

"Who says I don't want to be punished?" Mag asked slyly, looking at the girl who sat next to her with those eyes again. Even with her glasses acting as walls, her message still got across. The room was suddenly very, very hot.

Luigi and Shi's eyebrows shot up simultaneously, and they exchanged glances, giggling as soon as they made eye contact.

"There's a child in the room, Mag, save your flirtations for later," he said, putting his big hands over Shilo's ears, who tried to wriggle out from under his touch.

"Later it is, then." In a show of mock innocence, she pursed her lips around the straw of her glass of sweet tea and took a drink, before daintily cutting a bite of her waffle.

Amber swallowed, and forced a laugh. _Jokes, yes. Joking. That's what we're doing. I'm not seriously considering throwing this little punk on her bed and kissing the hell out of her when we get back to the apartment. I'm not internally writhing with horniness right now. Not a thing. Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope._

She saw Shi looking back and forth between the two of them, her eyes lingering longer on Amber than on Mag. Amber already didn't like being looked at for an extended amount of time, even by people she did know well, but this was making her nervous.

_ Can she smell the gay on me? _

Shilo rubbed her chin as if to signal there was something on Amber's face, in that discreet way that girls do to look out for each other. She mimicked the gesture, and sure enough, there had been a little blop of grape jelly right under her lip.

_Whew. Okay, I'm safe. Still straight. Maybe._

"We should head back," Luigi commented, shoveling what was left of his food into a to-go box for Pavi. "I have a thing I have to do later tonight."

"What kind of thing?" Mag asked.

"If you must know, it's-"

"He's going on a date," Amber finished for him, adding her leftover bacon to the box.

"Really?" Mag asked, reaching across the table to get her tab. "Who's the lucky lady?"

"Her name's Mina, I don't know if you'd know her. She's a super-senior. Film major, minoring in…. uh… something fancy, I don't remember."

"Arts Administration and English! Yeah, I know her. She's a sweetheart. How did you guys meet?"

"At the cafe. Someone made my coffee wrong, she fixed it for me and made it even better than usual, and what can I say? I knew there was potential from that very second."

"I forgot she works at Full of Beans. I had a few gen ed classes with her and she's been a pretty good friend of mine since. I should drop by and visit her sometime."

"She works Tuesday mornings because that's the day she doesn't have any classes, but most other days she works nights."

"What are you doing tonight?" Amber asked.

"I'm taking her to dinner, then we're having a B-horror marathon at my place. She shares my weakness for shitty scary movies," he explained to Mag.

"Cute. Well, yeah, let's get back to the apartment so you can collect your brother and go get ready for a nice evening!"

They begrudgingly gave Shilo back to her dad, after trading hugs and urging her to come over anytime, and they paid their tabs and hopped back into Mag's car to return home. Amber caught shotgun, and as such, Mag told her she could pick the music. The sun visor held a decent variety of CDs, and when she found a copy of her favorite obscure British band's first official album, and when she saw the astonished smile that came across Mag's pretty face as she heard the first notes of the opening song, Amber knew something special was coming.


	3. Helpless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amber and Shilo work on a paper, while Luigi keeps the mood light. Everything is a run-of-the-mill night until Mag gets back from work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: A lot of alcohol is consumed in this chapter, and 85% of it is by Luigi.

Chapter Three-- Helpless

You walked in and my heart went ‘boom.’  
\-- “Helpless,” written by Lin-Manuel Miranda

 

Luigi’s date with Mina went better than Amber had expected. She hadn’t planned on asking, because she knew he would tell her anyway, and sure enough, he delivered.

He had come over on Sunday night, and sat on Amber’s bedroom floor to share the story. He had taken her to a nice bistro in the city. He was unable to remember the exact details, but he remembered that she had worn a blue dress and the way it had looked against her warm brown skin and luscious dark hair drove him close to madness. After dinner, they’d strolled a couple blocks over for frozen yogurt, and talked about Stephen King novels and shitty horror movies. When he took her home, the tension became too much for them to bear and--

“Okay, okay, cool it. I would rather pretend you don’t do that stuff,” Amber insisted, rolling over in her bed to face the wall as she checked her text messages.

“I wasn’t gonna tell you everything, that’s gross. But Amber, she wasn’t even...she wasn’t weird about the scars.” There was a warm pause, and though she couldn’t see him, she could hear the smile spread across his face. “She kissed every single one of them.”

“Which story did you give her?”

He laughed brusquely. “Are you kidding me? I told her it was a car accident and then I had to have a couple surgeries afterwards. Why would I tell her anything else?”

“I don’t know. You’re acting like she’s the one, I figured you might have gone the honest route.”

“There’s no need to be that honest with her. Yet. If she sticks around a while longer, though, I might give her the straight story,” he commented. “Besides, the surgery part was true. Counts for something, right?”

“I mean, true,” Amber answered. “She doesn’t need to know how fucked-up your family is yet. In fact, you probably shouldn’t let her meet Pavi until after the wedding.”

“She’s met Pavi already, nerd. She thinks he’s very charming.”

“Charming, my ass,” Amber managed to mutter before Luigi jumped onto her bed and tried to play-fight her. The tussle didn’t last long, as Amber casually threw him back off the bed. He landed with a displeased grunt, but brushed off his loss gracefully.

“Where’s Mag? And more importantly, where’s the rest of that wine?”

“Wine? Work. Mag? In the pantry.”   
n his f  
Luigi stood in the doorway, looking at her with a puzzled expression on his face, until Amber realized she’d fumbled her words and let out a laugh.

“That’s the other way around, obviously.”

“Yeah, I figured. You want some?”

“Sure.”

“Be right back.” Luigi left for a moment, and came back with a bottle of wine and two tumblers.

“Hey, go grab another cup. Shilo is coming over to spend the night in a few minutes, she’s helping me with a paper.”

“She’s a real smarty-pants, huh?” 

“She’s nearly a genius. Mag said that her dad home-schooled her for a few years, and he’s got an IQ of like 140.”

“Shit. I wish I’d known her when I was still in school.”

“You’re the smartest one of all of us, Luigi. Shut up.”

Luigi flushed at the compliment, but couldn’t argue its truthfulness. “Is she even going to want to drink any of this, Amber?”

“Just because she’s a sweetheart doesn’t mean she’s a goody two-shoes. We’ll offer her some and if she doesn’t want any, there’s Arizona tea in the fridge she can have.”

As it happened, Shilo was a little bit of a wino, but she didn’t manage to drink more than the borderline alcoholic Largoes. 

“So what do you have so far?” Shilo took a hearty first swig of her drink before setting it aside and trying to get into business mode.

“Well, nothing on the actual rough draft. I wrote this outline yesterday but all of my supporting points feel kind of weak, maybe you could look at it.” Amber hunted through her backpack for her notebook, shuffled to the right page, and handed it to the younger student.

Shilo conjured a red pen from behind her ear with surprising dexterity and held it aloft as she began to read. Her eyes were squinted as if to keep a watchful eye for errors.

“Hmm. Your thesis is pretty solid. There’s just...little things that I would change…” She started to scribble notes into the margins of the paper, and Amber watched hesitantly. 

“Luigi, you like Hamlet. Do you have anything else to add?” Amber asked.

“Just because I have watched eight different versions of Hamlet, read it twice for fun and twice for English classes, and played three different roles in this particular show, does not mean I am qualified to help you with your essay. More importantly, it doesn’t mean that I want to help you with your essay.” He was lounging in Amber’s big purple chair, upside down with his socked feet tapping against the wall, and he showed no sign of moving. 

“Three different roles? Mmm, which ones?” Shilo asked. Amber cringed at the fact that she was humoring him.

“Oh, yeah. Laertes in middle school. The Ham himself in high school.” The girls gagged at ‘the Ham,’ but he seemed not to notice. “Then, while I was still at the university, I got cast as Claudius, even though I was only a minor. I stole the show. I guess you could say I’m a great...actor,” he answered, lengthening the “o” in the most obnoxious way possible.

“Gimme a fucking break,” Amber muttered, as Luigi reached over and put his long arms around her shoulders, forcing a kiss onto her temple.

“I’ll give it to you and Pavi that you’re far better singers than me. And dancers. It doesn’t take much to be a better dancer than me, honestly… but if I had chosen to pursue Shakespearean acting, maybe I could have been a force to be reckoned with,” he said boldly, before proceeding to pour wine recklessly down his throat.

“You get any of that on my new carpet, and there’ll be blood-stains to match it,” Amber threatened.

“I’m an old hat at this, I’ve got it,” he answered, carefully sitting the cup back on its coaster, despite the shake of his hand.

Conversation fizzled out as the three of them finished off the last of the bottle. While Amber finished her draft and Shi proofed her paper one more time, Luigi managed to find a fresh bottle of White Zinfandel in the pantry. At first they resisted the urge to uncork it and start chugging, but they soon threw caution aside at the behest of Shilo, who uncorked it and took the first swig directly from the bottle.

“You are going to become a lush, aren’t you?” Amber teased.

“Maybe so,” Shilo laughed. “Drinking seems to be the thing to do around here.”

“Yeah, we’re lowkey alcoholics. I’m so glad I don’t have work tomorrow because our dad would have my ass for coming in hung-over again. But I get Mondays off now, so life is good,” Luigi commented, pouring himself a new glass. “Now, what do we do with the rest of the evening? Do we pick up where we left off on the Rocky marathon?”

“You could just perform Hamlet for us,” Shilo pointed out.

Amber cringed. “Fuck. You had to get Kenneth Branagh here started on that.”

Luigi leapt from the chair, and his facial expression changed immediately. “You want to see Hamlet? I’ll give you fuckers Hamlet.”

Amber and Shilo grasped hands and braced themselves for atrocity, as the eldest Largo put on the closest thing to a serious face he could muster while intoxicated. He proceeded to give the most impassioned rendition of the “To Be or Not to Be” speech that a drunk former Theatre minor was capable of.

As he neared the end of his monologue, Mag returned from grocery shopping and work, catching him in the middle of a thought. When she made eye contact with Luigi, he lost his muse and mumbled “for I must hold my tongue,” hesitantly watching for her reaction.

She sighed heavily, and rolled her eyes. “Good my lord, how does your honor for this many a day?”

Luigi’s face lit up almost immediately. “I humbly thank you; well.”

Amber rolled her eyes, and Shilo chuckled as Luigi strutted (in the least Hamlet-like manner possible) towards his Ophelia.

Amused by his drunken fervor, Mag threw herself more passionately into her own performance. “My lord, I have remembrances of yours that I have longed long to redeliver. I pray you, now receive them.”

Amber couldn’t help but be a little in awe of Mag’s “performance,” of the way she held her head and the sudden confidence that emanated from her whole being, as if she were standing on a real stage and not a pink shaggy carpet.

Amber tried to remember if she had seen Mag in an opera last year. Surely she had gone to at least one, her Music Appreciation professor had offered extra credit if students went to one...in fact, she had. Pavi had taken her to see The Magic Flute last semester and she had played Pamina. She hadn’t enjoyed the opera itself much, but Mag’s nuanced performance had stood out to her.

“No, not I. I never gave you aught.” Luigi was losing sight of his characterization, and groping towards Amber for his cup. Shilo got up and placed it in his hand and he nodded wordlessly towards her.

“My honored lord, I know right well you did.” Mag seemed to have put a lot of thought into playing Ophelia. Her serene dignity posed a sharp contrast with her co-star’s intoxicated slurring.

The scene scattered vaguely on, Mag reciting her lines perfectly until Luigi nearly fell into her arms in a sudden wave of drunkenness and whispered dramatically, “Get thee to a…. what’s it called…”

“Nunnery,” she answered in a stage whisper.

“Right, yeah. Get thee to a fucking nunnery, you…” he put his hands on either side of his face, “you lesbian.”

Shilo laughed so hard she fell over. Amber simply reached for her drink, hoping to drown her second-hand embarrassment.

“Ooh, a nunnery? Lots of pretty, sexually repressed girls in one place…”

“You don’t need a bunch of sexually repressed girls. Just date Amber.” 

Amber cringed, and Shilo laughed, pushing her toward Mag as Luigi did the same to the petite singer.

“She needs someone who will be good to her, all her exes are jerks. You’re nice, right?”

“Y...Yeah?”

“Good. Date my sister. Be sweet to her, okay?”

Mag could see that arguing with drunk Luigi would be an uphill battle, so she nodded agreement, and promised she’d return after changing into pajamas and brushing her teeth. While she was gone, Luigi and Shilo had decided that the Rocky marathon would, in fact, continue, and they put on the third film, snatching pillows off Amber’s bed to lie on. She crawled under her sheets after pulling on some Ninja Turtle boxers and ditching her bra. She thought as soon as she was done that she should have put on some cuter pajamas for Mag, but it was too late. Her energy was gone, and she was sure that Mag would see her looking gross at some point anyway.

When Mag came back in, she started to sit on the floor, but Amber stopped her. There was something in her that hurt at the idea of Mag not being next to her, something that made her feel like a jealous child. 

“You can, uh, lay up here if you want to,” she muttered, patting the bed next to her. Her attempt to seem aloof felt very forced, and everyone in the room noticed.

Mag’s smile widened a little, and she thought she saw a hint of a blush cross the older girl’s cheeks as she climbed into bed beside her. Shilo watched the two of them with an approving glance, but managed to turn away before Mag noticed the gesture.

“So how was work tonight?” Amber asked, rolling to face her.

“It was...something. Slow tonight, but Nathan was frazzled. I probably spent more time trying to calm him down than actually working.”

“Covers?” Amber asked, offering her the corner of the comforter. 

She accepted, and snuggled in underneath the many blankets, getting as close as she could without becoming explicitly flirtatious.

“So what do you mean by frazzled?” Amber wasn’t sure if this was an appropriate question, but she knew this was something she probably wouldn’t have asked sober. 

Mag peeked timidly over her shoulder, making sure Shilo was distracted before she answered. “He’s a good man, he just...deals with a lot of anxiety. He needs reassuring a lot.”

“I understand that,” Amber murmured with a laugh. “I could probably use more reassuring in my own life.”

“Nathan is… an excellent doctor. An excellent surgeon. The steadiest hand I have ever seen. He just has an anxiety disorder, and it affects him deeply. It pains me to see how stressed out he gets over such simple procedures, things he’s more than capable of…” Mag’s compassion for the doctor was obvious, and seemed like more than the usual distant relationship a student would have with their employer.

“You’ve known him for a while, then?” She felt guilty asking more questions, but Mag seemed willing enough to talk.

“A couple years, yeah. I’ve worked for him since I got to this school, and he’s kind of become a father figure to me.” A sigh left her lungs, seemingly without her permission. “He’s always been a little high-strung, but bearably so. But something happened this summer and he hasn’t been the same since.”

Even with alcohol affecting her social skills, Amber knew not to press further, and she steered the conversation in another, more cheerful direction. 

A few minutes later, Shilo got up and turned the AC higher, claiming she was too warm. However, the two girls started to get too cold, even under the piles of covers. Amber wasn’t sure how it happened, but they ended up in each other’s arms, breast to breast, faces close-- or, at first. Mag told her to roll over, saying spooning would be more comfortable, and Amber grudgingly obliged, taking a little solace in the surprising warmth and softness of Mag’s embrace.

“School’s still treating you well?” Mag asked, letting her hand run up Amber’s thigh, feeling the goosebumps start to raise.

“Y-yeah.” Shit. Mag was on to her. “You having fun there?”

“Yup. It’s cute how you think you’re slick.”

Amber cringed. “I can’t be that obvious.”

“Yes. Yes, you can be. It’s okay, most girls are when they first realize.” Mag’s hand found its way to Amber’s lower abdomen and her breath stopped. “If we didn’t have company tonight, I might help you experiment a little…” 

Amber wriggled closer in sheer lust, biting her lip to hold back the soft moan of want that threatened to escape her. 

“Honey. At least try not to be so obvious. You used to put forth effort not to look like a puppy, did you give up?”

“Maybe,” she breathed, rolling over and reaching for Mag’s breasts.

“Not so fast, beautiful,” she purred, holding Amber’s hands off her with a surprising amount of strength. “One day soon, but we can’t do it tonight.”

“Please?” Amber begged, drawing her face closer to try and kiss the older girl. “They’re drunk, they won’t care.”

“You’re drunk, too,” Mag reminded her. “Or close enough.” She put her fingertips gently over Amber’s mouth. “And I’m not going to so much as kiss you if I’m not sure that you’re really ready for it.”

Amber must have looked like she was in pain, because Mag gave her a tender look of sympathy. “Like I said, soon. I’m going to wait till your brother isn’t here, and until you are in a state where you will remember this, and then I’m going to make sure your first time with a girl is amazing.” The singer’s long, almond-shaped nails dragged gently through her scalp.

“Can we at least cuddle until then?” Amber asked.

“That I can oblige you with,” Mag replied, pulling her in with a giggle. 

The conversation became platonic again, dwelling first on Pavi and then their classes, and as it had since the first time they met, it seemed natural. Mag caught Amber staring at her lips time and time again, bristling for a kiss but resisting the urge to go in for one.

“You are desperate,” Mag reflected, as Amber’s hands pawed at her waist yet again.

“Maybe I am,” she answered nonchalantly.

Mag blushed. “Maybe I should give you something to tide you over until then,” she admitted, looking gently over her shoulder to make sure that Shi and Luigi were still distracted.  
Amber’s heart stopped, and she leaned in finally to press her lips to Mag’s.

It didn’t feel any different than any of the hundreds of kisses she had given to guys before, or she knew in her head that it didn’t, but the way that Mag’s hands cupped over the back of her head and the way Amber could just barely feel her firm nipples against her own breasts, and it left Amber wanting so much more.

In fact, she wanted it enough to go and get it. After Shilo finally fell asleep on the floor, and Luigi went out to the living room couch, and she herself had mostly sobered up, Amber got up, pulled on a loose, long t-shirt to accentuate her slender body, tossed her hair just right, and tiptoed to Mag’s bedroom.


	4. I'm Ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amber and Mag have a bit of unexpected bonding time, which involves acknowledging the fact that they are both old ladies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the chapter where things get spicy. This is, however, the stereotypical chapter where Mag mentors Amber on gayness.
> 
> (@ Leeland, you may want to skip the next chapter, though.)

You’ve been staring at the ocean   
like it’s a language you could learn  
\-- “I’m Ready,” Geographer

Mag was sitting cross-legged on her bed, with a half-completed scarf hanging from her knitting needles. When Amber opened the door slowly and looked at her, she couldn’t help but laugh.

“You didn’t really think you were going to seduce me tonight?” she asked.

“Well, I was hoping to,” Amber admitted.

“Poor thing,” Mag shook her head in sympathy. “You underestimate how determined I am.”

“Determined to do what?” she asked, sitting on the corner of the bed and watching Mag skillfully twist the plush violet yarn around the thick blue needles.

“Oh, lots of things. Finish this scarf by the end of the month. Survive this stupid show I just got cast in. To resist the urge to take you tonight, and wait until later. So I can give you a really good first time with a girl.”

“What, dinner first and candlelight?” Amber scoffed.

She paused. “I had other plans, but that can be arranged.”

“What are your plans?”

“Well, their charm is contingent mostly on surprise. I’m not creative enough to think of anything groundbreaking, but hopefully you’ll like a surprise just by virtue of it being a surprise.”

“I don’t need anything groundbreaking to enjoy my first time with a girl. Not if it’s with you.”

Mag paused her knitting again, and looked up at the younger girl with a quizzical expression. “What do you mean?”

“That… yeah, that came out wrong. What I mean was...you’re groundbreaking enough for me.”

Mag laughed, and Amber was offended for a moment, but she saw the warm look in the other girl’s wide blue eyes and felt better instantly. 

“That sounded a little bit like a high school boy trying to get into his first girlfriend’s pants,” she pointed out.

“Did it?”

“Yeah. If it was anybody but you I’d be disgusted, but that was somehow kind of cute when you said it.”

Amber laughed. “I can live with that.”

“You can lay down if you want. We’re not fucking tonight, but you don’t have to keep such a distance,” Mag informed her, starting a new row on her scarf. 

Amber accepted her invitation and crawled up to the head of the bed, settling in onto the pillow that looked most comfortable. She watched Mag knit for a moment, before her eyes focused in on a movie poster that hung over Mag’s dresser-- a small framed print of the original Shining poster.

“You aren’t one of those people, are you?” she asked absently.

“One of what people?” 

“The kind that thinks The Shining was Kubrick’s best?”

“Well. I kind of want to reserve my opinion until I hear yours first,” Mag answered, looking over her shoulder.

“I’m Team Clockwork Orange all the way,” Amber murmured. “I’m not into movies like my brother is, but I’ve seen all of the Kubricks at this point, and The Shining is sadly, sadly overrated. It doesn’t even work as a horror film, yeah, it was well-acted and it was pretty visually interesting but Jack Nicholson was too easy a casting choice and all in all it’s just… a lot of gloss with very little substance.”

“Funny that you think that. Obviously, I like the Shining, but I’m partial to Eyes Wide Shut.”

“Why is that?”

“Half of it is probably the added mystique of it being his last film, technically unfinished, if I remember right.”

“No, he finished it. He died days after finishing the final cut.” Amber laughed abruptly. “We sound so pretentious. I bet we look so old and silly right now. You’re knitting and we’re debating the artistry of Kubrick.”

“I am old, I know that. At least I’m not a gross hetero, though.”

Amber smacked the girl’s thigh lightly. “Hey, watch what you say about gross heteros, lady. I happen to have one of those in my family.”

“I notice you don’t lump yourself in with that category?”

Amber paused. “No. No, I don’t.”

“Is this a recent thing?”

“Well, you are my first girl. Will be, I mean. But I’ve thought about girls before. I think?”

“Did you ever have really close friends that were girls? Like...that you were really close with? That made you happy like no boy ever did?”

“Yeah.”

“Were there older women, teachers, maybe, or actors, that you really admired to a point that nobody else really understood?”

Amber was a little astonished at how well Mag seemed to get the way she had felt as a young girl. “Yeah.”

“Yeah. You liked girls. You weren’t able to realize it, since all of society tells us we’re supposed to reserve romantic feelings for guys, but you liked girls.”

“Did you ever like guys?” Amber asked. “Like, really like them?”

“Not really. I dated a couple of them, had sex with one because I felt like I should. It wasn’t right.” Mag looked at Amber and laughed a little. “I don’t want to tell you who it was, but…”

“Oh, come on! Don’t say that and then refuse to tell me who it was!”

“You’ll get weirded out!”

“No, I won’t! Fucking tell me!”

“Well, it was a party last year, with only a few other people. All of us were gay, or bi, or pan, and we were talking about our experiences with people of different genders. I expressed my vague desire to try out a man, but my reluctance for it to be someone super masculine. Your brother offered his services, and...huh. I don’t want to say it was a bad experience, but I don’t like men, or male-aligned nonbinary people, or anything resembling men, and that moment kind of confirmed it.”

“Wait. Which brother?”

“Pavi. Not saying Luigi isn’t good-looking or nice or whatever, but I wouldn’t sleep with him if my life depended on it.”

Amber tried to chase the image of Pavi and Mag out of her mind, but couldn’t. “God. You fucked the Pavi.”

“I fucked the Pavi.”

“I’m...sorry.”

Mag couldn’t help but laugh. “I’ve scarred you, haven’t I?”

“No, no, I’m fine. That just wasn’t what I was expecting you to say. At all. But I guess I’m glad you were with him instead of someone douchey and super-manly or whatever.”

“Yeah, he’s the only guy I really trusted enough to try that with, and he was super respectful of my boundaries. When I was done, he backed off and he didn’t act like I owed him anything. Lately, he’s been bent on finding me a girlfriend, for God’s sake, so clearly he doesn’t harbor any weird feelings about it anymore.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I’ve been in what you could call a dry spell lately, and Pavi thinks he’s a godsend of a matchmaker because he set Luigi and Mina up.”

“Funny, he’s been saying the same thing to me. He’s all like, ‘Trust the Pavi! I know who is good for my dear baby sister!’”

The two girls looked at each other for a long time. Both of them wondered if Pavi could really be that heavy-handed, and internally concluded that, yes, if anybody would dare, Paviche Largo would be that heavy-handed.

“Did Pavi...know?” Mag asked, untangling a sudden knot that was threatening to form in her yarn.

“I mean, if I’m as obvious as you say I am, I’m sure he gathered it. I apparently wear my gayness on my sleeve,” she joked.

“That is true. You’re pretty fucking gay for someone who didn’t even know you were gay.”

“Do I get an award for being that gay?”

“Yeah, I’ll consult with the Award Committee and you should get your badge and certificate in the next 6 to 8 business days,” Mag answered sarcastically, and the two girls laughed.

“Does it come with a frame, so I can hang it on my wall?”

“I’ll talk to my secretary and we’ll see what he can arrange.”

“The Secretary of Gay, is that a thing?”

“It is now. And I guess I’m the President. Magdalene Defoe, the President of Gay.”

The conversation died down, and Mag suggested to Amber that she could put a movie in and watch something. 

“Won’t that distract you?”

“Knitting is muscle memory at this point, I’ll be fine,” Mag reassured her. “The TV is connected to Netflix and Hulu Plus, so pick whatever you want.”

“You have any preferences?”

“No, just anything playing in the background sounds nice. I guess it’s because I’m surrounded by music all the time, but I can’t handle silence.”

“Same.” Amber picked an old John Hughes flick, which seemed like the right balance. It was not too vapid to stomach but not too meaty to distract from any conversation she might manage to strike up with Mag.

“What do you listen to? When you’re not working on schoolwork?”

“Depends. Movie soundtracks, a lot of the time.”

“Anyone specific?”

“Usually the old standbys. John Williams, Hans Zimmer. Christopher Young, when I want to get spooky or whatever.”

“Yeah, those are all pretty good. You seem like the Philip Glass type.”

“You’re not wrong. I’ve only listened to The Hours, Candyman and The Secret Window, I’ve never listened to any of his original stuff…”

“I’m guessing you listen to classical, though?”

“Oh, definitely.” Mag started to rattle on about some of her favorite pieces and composers, but though Amber tried hard to listen, sleep draped itself over her eyelids just as Mag began to gush about Vivaldi.

When she awoke in the morning to Shilo gently rustling her shoulders, urging her to hop in the shower and get ready, Mag had fallen asleep close beside her, on her back with their faces close. Getting up was almost physically painful, but Mag didn’t have class until one, so they left her there to sleep soundly.

Shilo turned to her as they silently closed her door, and Amber prayed that she wouldn’t bring it up, but when Shilo turned around with a smirk to rival Alex DeLarge, she let out a deep sigh, expecting a flood of questions.

“So what happened?”

“Nothing. We talked and I fell asleep and I guess she didn’t feel like waking me up.”

Shilo squinted a little, surveyed Amber’s appearance, and seemed to shrug. “Okay. Whatever you say.”

“Do you not believe me?”

“No, I believe you. I just don’t get why it didn’t happen.”

“It will,” Amber blurted without thinking, regretting it as soon as Shilo chuckled.

“Oh, trust me, I know it will.”


	5. Parentheses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mag and Amber finally do the do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never mind, Leeland, there's a fade to black so you're safe. (general warning for sexual content, though, so proceed with caution)

Chapter Five-- Parentheses

And when you’re holding me,

we make a pair of parentheses.

There’s plenty of space to encase whatever weird way my mind goes. 

I know I’ll be safe in these arms.

\-- “Parentheses,” The Blow

 

A couple of weeks passed without much event. Life seemed boring for everyone else, but Amber considered these some of the happiest weeks of her life so far. Luigi was still dating Mina; every time she sent him a text or called him, his face lit up in a glow of euphoria. Amber couldn’t remember a time when anyone he’d cared for had been so good for him. She hoped to God that it would last, but she was admittedly skeptical, for no other reason than the fact that Rotti Largo took too active a role in determining the love-lives of his now-adult children. 

Pavi had also found a few new fuckbuddies, but that was normal for him-- he strongly preferred to have a few regular sexual partners rather than a committed relationship. However, Amber had noticed he had one particular friend that now tended to accompany him on trips to the grocery store, the coffee-shop and even to Amber or Luigi’s apartments. They were a particularly cute nonbinary person by the name of Zion-- thick and curvy, with a round babyish face and vibrant blue hair. Their major was Art, and they and Pavi had met because a mutual friend had suggested him as a reference for an art project, and the two of them hit it off immediately. They cuddled frequently, when they had downtime. Pavi would rest his face on their shoulder and snuggle into Zion’s warm curves, and they would hold him close, playing with his dark hair where it started to curl at the ends. They got along well with Luigi and Amber, making fast friends with Mina especially, as they bonded over their shared love of pixel art, Kandinsky, and some cat game on their phones. Usually Pavi’s lovers came and went at a rapid pace, but Amber couldn’t resist hoping this would be the person that stuck around.

The Theater Department held auditions for a production of  RENT;  Amber was cast as Maureen, which was pretty predictable, but Pavi, to the surprise of all, was cast as Mark Cohen. Rehearsals were long and arduous, and Mag spent a great deal of time away as well, between work and that semester’s opera, but the spare time that they had together was spent in Mag’s bed, watching movies while Mag knitted, punctuated by cuddles and kisses.

When the scarf was finally finished, approximately three weeks after their first late-night cuddle session, Amber found it on her pillow one night. Mag had to work late, but it was folded tidily up, with a big pink bow tied around it. An index card sitting next to it read: “ Purple is your color, without a doubt. You’d better wear it!”  And she did wear it. Most of her fall clothes were gray or black, so it matched fairly well, adding that single pop of color she considered necessary in her outfits. She got at least two compliments on it every day that she wore it, and those were great, but they didn’t mean quite as much to her as the soft smile that would grace Mag’s lips every time she saw her wearing it, or putting in in her backpack to bring in case she wanted it later.

“Do you really like it, or have you been wearing it all the time because I told you to?” she asked one day, kicking Amber lightly to rouse her from her half-slumber. 

“I like it, Mag, I promise. But even if I didn’t, I’d still wear it because you made it for me.”

“You shouldn’t wear it if you don’t like it, no matter who made it for you.” Mag sat on Amber abruptly, which caused her to giggle and thrash underneath her. Despite being small, she was difficult to move when she was determined to stay put.

“Well, then, if I didn’t like it, I would hang it up at the foot of my bed. And I wouldn’t wear it,” she huffed between attempts at picking her up, “but I would touch it every time I walked past it. Because you made it for me.”

Mag seemed to decide that answer was satisfactory, as she leaned over, pressed a gentle kiss into Amber’s cheek, and rolled off the sofa with the grace of a dancer, leaving her there as she went to get a soda from the kitchen.

After two more weeks had passed, Amber came back from a fitting on a night when Mag didn’t have rehearsal, and she found  Mag stretched out on the sofa in a slinky periwinkle nightgown, trimmed with lace and very, very short. Her thighs were so soft and creamy, and her petite hands rested on them in such a way that was driving Amber mad already.

“Oh, so now you’ve decided it’s time,” she muttered to herself, putting her backpack down by the front door.

“Is tonight inconvenient for you?” Mag teased, rising from her reclining position and walking over to the younger girl with a giggle.

“Not necessarily, but it took you long enough, didn’t it?”

“I wanted to make sure the timing was just right. Make sure you really wanted it, you know. All that stuff.” Mag took the taller girl’s face in her hands, bent her gently down to face her, and gave her the tenderest of kisses. Amber reciprocated gratefully, kissing her deeply and viciously, her hands searching every curve.

Mag stopped her, pulling away. “Are you hungry?”

“Nope. Just had pizza at rehearsal.” Amber dove back into kissing, or tried to, but Mag held her face aloft.

“I was thinking we could order something for delivery; I rented that new movie you were talking about yesterday. Does that sound good?”

“We’ll watch it after,” Amber insisted, seizing Mag’s tiny waist and pulling her in.

“Somebody has no restraint, huh?” she teased, rubbing her shoulders.

“You’ve made me wait a fucking month, I want it now,” Amber crooned into her ear, grabbing the smaller girl and picking her up almost effortlessly. Mag’s legs wound around her waist instantly, drawn in by the intensity of her kisses. Amber carried her to her bed, still kissing her viciously, and laid the smaller girl down, spreading her legs and running her fingers timidly along the insides of her thighs.

This was the part where Amber was starting to get nervous, looking at the beautiful sable-haired girl underneath her. Her first girl. 

Mag sensed her nerves, and watched as Amber slowly took off the light hoodie she had been wearing. 

“Do you want me to take over from here? Show you the ropes first?”

Amber leaned down and gave her a tender kiss on the lips. “Nah, I’m fine. I wanna see how much raw talent I have before we start my training.”

“Ah, you have ambition. I like that.” 

They kissed some more. Amber tried to smoothly take off her leggings while still leaning over and kissing Mag, but she soon realized that wasn’t going to work, and stood back up to remove her leggings and then her t-shirt, while Mag watched. Amber was left in a somewhat old old black bra (five Semi-Annual sales ago if she remembered right) and boy shorts made of thin red lace-- they were cheap and purchased from the local Target, but nice enough to do the trick.

“Sorry I’m not super good at this stuff yet,” Amber apologized with a laugh. “I’m still a little new to this whole concept.”

“It’s okay, I forgive you. There’s nothing you won’t improve at with practice, after all,” Mag answered, taking Amber’s hand gently and kissing her palm.

The rest of the night was a kind of heaven that Amber had theretofore been unfamiliar with. All her nerves melted away within a few minutes and found that she was able to thoroughly please Mag, and when she reciprocated, Amber was completely undone. After three hours of fooling around, they settled into bed with a bottle of moscato, picked out a long, elaborate period piece to watch while they fell asleep, when Amber’s phone, which was across the room, started to ring.

Mag got up and went to go get it, and looked at the lock screen quizzically. “Who is Mina again?”

Amber sat up quickly. “Mina’s calling?”

“Yeah. Who is she again? I know you’ve told me.”

“Luigi’s girlfriend. She’s texted me before, but she’s never called…” Quickly, she answered the phone and held it up to her ear. “Mina, hey. What’s up?”

“I’m sorry to call you so late, I just… I have kind of a problem and I figured you know your brother better than maybe anyone else on earth, so I wanted to talk to you.”

Amber sighed. “Fuck. What did he do?”

“He texted me last night when he was drunk and told me that he loved me.”

Fuck! I liked Mina!  Amber started to speak, but Mina continued, and so she bit her tongue.

“And I was so excited! I didn’t know he was drunk, I thought he meant it, so I sent him back this long, sweet text saying I loved him back and how, you know, the first day I met him I knew that he was going to have a special place in my life and yada yada yada, and then he didn’t answer me. And he hasn’t said anything to me all day. And I just… I don’t know what to do. I’m very embarrassed by all of this, I feel like I fucked everything up, and I don’t know what to say to him.”

Before Amber could answer, call waiting started to beep, and when she looked at her caller ID, it was Luigi. “Hang on, he’s calling me. I’ll call you back.”

She beeped over to the other line, and before her brother could defend himself, she accosted him. “Luigi. What the fuck did you do?”

“I was drunk and I told her I loved her, and she said it back, and I meant it, but now I’m freaking out.”

“Well, she’s freaking out too, asshole. She called me afraid you were gonna dump her or some shit.”

“Well, I don’t… I don’t know if I’m ready to commit to anyone like that. If this goes south, I don’t know what I’m gonna do.” 

“Well, call her. Go over to her place and talk to her and figure something out. Just don’t leave her sitting around wondering what she did wrong, that’s fucked up. Bye.” 

Mag laughed a little at Amber’s abruptness, and sipped her wine quietly as Amber resumed her call with Mina.

“Okay, I told him to call you and come over tonight or something. He meant it, he’s just scared. Text me and tell me how it goes.”

“Thank you. I’m sorry for bugging you so late, I just really care about your brother.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Talk to you later.”

“Bye.”

Amber hung up, sat her phone on the bedside table, and with a light touch, took Mag’s wine glass out of her hand and set it down, before pulling her close and snuggling into her.

“So how do you think that’s going to go?” Mag asked, returning Amber’s embrace.

“That what?”

“Luigi and Mina.”

“Oh, he’s in love with her. Trust me, he’s gonna get over there and they’re going to mutually confess their love and have a lot of sex and it will all be fine.”

“Mmm. That sounds beautiful. How is Pavi and his new friend?”

“They’re good. Pavi’s out with them tonight, I think? Or they’re spending the night in. I don’t remember. But I’m pretty sure Pavi’s with Zion tonight.”

“And I bet when Pavi’s with Zion...he’s  in  Zion.” Mag chuckled at her own joke, before looking up and seeing Amber’s blank expression. “You know? Because Zion is heaven. And Pavi is probably having sex with them. So, it’s a double entendre. In Zion.  In Zion.”

At this point, Amber finally laughed, but less because the joke was funny and more because of Mag was so cute when she was trying to be funny. She couldn’t resist leaning in and giving Mag a tender kiss on the lips.

“You’re so damn cute, you know that?” she murmured to the dark-haired beauty lying next to her.

“I do know that, you tell me quite a lot. Thank you, though.” Mag gave her another kiss as she finished her sentence. “You’re pretty fucking adorable yourself.”

“So be honest with me. Did I do a good job?” Amber asked, taking both of the other girl’s hands and squeezing them tight.

“You know you did a good job.”

“Yeah, but I wanna hear you say it.”

Mag brushed a stray lock of her hair out of her face. “You did an amazing job. Best I have had in awhile.”

“And you mean that? You’re not saying that because I’m telling you to?”

“I mean it. I am not just saying it because you told me to.” Mag stole another quick smooch. “Now let’s go to sleep. I’ve gotta meet Pavi for coffee in the morning and then do errands, and I was hoping you could come with me.”

“Sounds good. My director decided he wants me to go red for the show, so I need to go get hair dye anyway.”

“Red for Maureen? That’s a good idea. I get tired of seeing her as a stale brunette.”

“Hey! You saying I’m stale?”

“No, far from it, my dear. Far from it.”


	6. Just Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang meets a new friend, and Amber has to have an unpleasant conversation with her father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: graphic talk of parental abuse towards end of chapter.

Chapter Six-- Just Breathe

 

As I come clean...

I wonder everyday, as I look upon your face

Everything you gave

And nothing you would take

\-- “Just Breathe,” Pearl Jam

 

When Amber and Mag dragged their tired selves into the coffee-shop the morning the following morning to meet up with Pavi and Zion, they found Shilo there as well, resting against Zion’s other shoulder with eyes closed, a frozen chai tea latte almost untouched in her tiny hands.

“Wake up, sleepy,” Mag teased, settling into an armchair across from her and tossing a balled-up napkin in her direction. Mag’s aim was a little off, and the napkin hit Zion, but the gesture still had its desired effect, and Shilo roused herself slowly, lifting the front of her blouse to yawn into it.

“Drink your latte,” Zion murmured to her. “You might actually wake up.”

“It’s too strong, it burns,” Shi whined sleepily, rubbing her face. “Everyone but Mina makes it wrong. It’s either weak as shit or too spicy.”

“Let me see it,” Amber leaned over and took the cup from her, curious.

“Not a good idea, sister. Your taste buds are weak,” Pavi reminded her, placing one pink-Conversed foot in her lap.

She took a sip, and sure enough regretted it instantly, passing it to Mag immediately. “ Fuck. Damn. You weren’t kidding, babe.”

“No, I wasn’t.” Shilo settled her head back on Zion’s shoulder, who put their arm affectionately around her small waist.

Mag took a sip as well, and wordlessly gagged before passing it off to Pavi.

“More for me,” he giggled, taking a long swig before placing it on the end table beside him.

“That shit is potent,” Amber spat, wiping a tear from her eye delicately, in hopes of not smudging her waterline. “I swear to God, you could kill someone with that.”

Zion chuckled. “A murder latte.”

“A fucking murder latte,” Mag agreed, fumbling in her purse for her wallet. “Amber, what do you want to drink, hon?”

“Just one of the green tea lemonades or something,” she answered, shifting in her armchair to try and find someplace to put her leg. 

“Okay. Want a muffin?”

Amber hesitated to evaluate her hunger level. “Yeah.”

“Mmkay, babe. Be right back.” Mag pressed a smooch into the top of the younger girl’s head as she walked to the counter, which left the trio on the sofa giggling towards her.

“So, it happened,” Shilo finally said, raising one slightly untidy eyebrow.

“Of course it happened,” Amber answered flippantly.

“I told you it would,” she teased.

“Yeah, I know, I told you that, too.” Amber stuck her tongue out playfully, and unzipped her jacket, taking it off and tossing it onto the arm of the chair.

“Was it good?” Pavi teased, winking lightly at her.

“Yeah.”

“That’s two big things from the Largo family in one night. You heard about the ‘l’ word last night, huh?” Pavi asked.

“I heard the beginning of the story, but I don’t really know what happened after, Mina never texted me back.” 

“Well, he went over there, said the big ‘I love you’ sober and for serious, and they are probably still in bed banging it out.” Pavi was grinning from ear to ear. “I’m so happy! She’s so good, I hope they make it work.” He dug a peachy-nude lipstick from his bag, and using his phone as a mirror, applied it slowly and carefully.

“Toss me that when you’re done, I forgot to put on some,” Amber murmured, scrolling lazily down her Instagram feed as she waited for Mag to return from the counter.

“Sure th-- oh, fuck,” Pavi muttered, making a face at his phone.

“What is it?”

“I forgot Graverobber was meeting us here, we’re going to have to squish in on the sofa to make room.” Pavi leaned over to hand Amber the lipstick, and almost fell on his face, but recovered lithely and curled into a ball on the leftmost edge of the couch.

“Who the hell is Graverobber?”

“Well, I’ve probably got to go anyway, work on my painting,” Zion answered, seeming not to have heard Amber’s question.

“Are you sure, darling?” Pavi looked absolutely wounded-- his attachment to this person seemed to go deeper than she had suspected. 

“I’m sorry. We can meet up tonight, though?” Zion promised, squeezing Pavi’s hand gently.

“Seriously, who is Graverobber?” Amber pressed.

“Okay, honey. Text me when you’ve got a decent amount of work done, I’ll bring my stuff for the Play Analysis essay and come right over.”

“Pavi?”

“Shilo, you’re welcome to come, too, if you want,” Pavi offered, reaching around Zion to place a hand on her knee.

“I might, I’ll see what I have going on.”

“Yeah, you’re always welcome to hang with us,” Zion told her with a smile in her direction.

“ Pavi!”  Amber snapped.

Startled, her brother’s head whipped around to face her. “Yes, dear?”

“Who the ever-loving hell is Graverobber?”

Zion laughed. “Their name really isn’t Graverobber, you know. That’s their nickname from work. It’s Greg.”

“They’re the friend I told you about, that’s doing my tattoo next month?” Pavi reminded her gently. “The really cool person who works at the Tattoo Carnival.”

“That is the worst fucking name for a tattoo place I’ve ever heard,” Mag muttered, handing Amber her drink and muffin before settling back into the other armchair.

“Yeah, but they didn’t name it. Anyways, they’re meeting us here in about 20 minutes, so you’ll finally get to understand what I’m talking about.”

At this point, Zion had gathered their things, hugged Shilo goodbye, and hovered over Pavi to tell him goodbye. They traded a quick kiss before the short, blue-haired artist left, waving goodbye to Amber and Mag with a warm smile.

“So are they cute?” Shilo asked as soon as they were out the door.

“Yes, they are,” Pavi murmured, watching the door.

“I mean Greg?” Shi pressed.

“Oh.” Pavi shook his head quickly, to snap himself out of it. “I mean, I don’t really know your type. I think they’re pretty handsome. Good kisser.”

Shilo stretched her petite body out across the sofa, placing her head in Pavi’s lap. “Sounds nice. Doubt I’ll be quite the type to attract a mysterious, grave-robbing tattoo artist, though.”

“They don’t really… rob graves, do they?” Mag asked with distaste.

“Hell, no. It’s a nickname,” Pavi answered, slurping from the ‘murder latte’ as he spoke.

“How’d he get it?” Shilo asked.

Pavi seemed as if he were avoiding something. “I… don’t know. Some inside joke at the tattoo place?”

Amber shrugged and stirred her drink with her straw, watching as the hazel liquid swirled and swirled.

After a few minutes of disjointed conversations between the group, a tall stranger arrived, with a muscular build, tattooed forearms, and long dark hair in a ponytail.

Hello, cutie,  Amber thought upon looking up.

“Hi, there, handsome,” Pavi teased, standing up to give them a hug.

“Hey, what’s up?” Their voice was surprisingly deep. They seemed a little masculine to be Pavi’s type, but when they turned their head, she was able to make out a delicately applied streak of eyeliner along their lashline. Clearly they weren’t about macho bullshit, despite the flannel and the biceps.

Mag kicked Amber’s knee lightly, and when she responded to the gesture, she jerked her head toward Shilo. Amber looked, and noticed that Shi and this person that was apparently Greg had locked eyes, and both seemed instantly drawn to each other. She had to suppress a laugh-- it really was nesting season, or necking season, or whatever it was called. Everyone was pairing off, whether they realized it or not.

“I’m gonna...go get coffee, I’ll be right back,” they said, mostly to Shilo. 

She smiled back, smoothed her skirt, and scooted to the far side of the sofa, leaving room for them in the middle. 

“We see you,” Mag reminded her gently.

“What?”

“We see you.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“But we know what you’re thinking,” Pavi reminded her in a singsong voice, leaning over to poke the end of her nose.

“Shut the hell up!” she snapped.

The gang proceeded to tease her until Greg returned with their coffee, sitting down beside her. As Mag and Amber asked them about their recent graduation, their major and minor (history and art, respectively), and their work at the tattoo parlor, Shilo had conjured the book she was reading from her purse and was trying to look disinterested until Greg turned to her, seeming to scoot closer, and asked, “What about you, Shilo?”

“Hmm?” Shi tried her damnedest to pretend she hadn’t been paying attention, but she wasn’t much of an actress.

“That’s your name, right? Shilo? What are you majoring in?”

“Well, I’m a freshman so I’m not really in any of my upper-levels yet, but I’m double-majoring, Biology and English.” She let herself make eye contact with them for a brief second before looking away.

“That’s an interesting combination,” they commented, obviously trying to keep her engaged. “What made you choose those majors?”

“Well, the English was more for fun because I just really love writing and reading. The Biology one is the one I’m more concerned about, because I want to be an entomologist.”

The two became wrapped up in their own conversation from there, as Greg showed her a detailed tattoo a friend had given them of some kind of exotic moth on their wrist, and from there, the two of them went on to talk about literature and whatever else. Amber, Mag and Pavi began to have their own separate conversation, but they kept close watch on the flirtatious pair, watching as their body language changed, as they got closer and closer to each other, and as Greg traced a pattern gently on her wrist with one matte-black fingernail, indicating the placement of a hypothetical tattoo. Shilo’s naturally expressive face turned a light pink, and the artist’s own smile widened.

When Amber and Mag finally had to leave for errands, they were still huddled close, chatting. Pavi had departed shortly before them, and though Shi and Greg had bid him goodbye politely, but were absolutely wrapped up in each other. As the two girls left, they couldn’t help but shoot Shilo winks and suggestive faces as they went out the door.

The rest of the afternoon was peaceful. Errands were run, a peaceful lunch was had at a cafe downtown, and as the sun set, the girls settled in on Amber’s floor, put on a Modest Mouse CD and a random episode of  Parks and Rec, and dyed her hair red.

Rotti called that night. Amber didn’t even have him saved in her phone as Dad anymore, though he would have been pissed if he had known that. She managed to get through the conversation almost painlessly, though she had Mag’s hand in a vicegrip. Rotti asked some aggravating questions about her grades and school, questions she’d already answered multiple times via text and other calls. As if she needed more proof that Rotti didn’t take her seriously or really care what she said to him. She asked if he was going to be coming to the play, and half-prayed that he would say no. When he told her he would be busy all of next week, she was secretly relieved, but for some reason felt compelled to feign disappointment anyway. When he said “I love you” in parting, she echoed him in a lifeless mutter, and when after thirty minutes of mindlessness, she was finally allowed to hang up, she let out a sigh so powerful it seemed to rattle her whole frame.

“Is he that bad?” Mag asked softly, seeing the pain in her face. 

“You don’t know the half of it,” Amber muttered/

“What’s the worst thing he’s done?”

“Well, that’s hard to quantify. I don’t know if the physical or the emotional is worse, but one time when Luigi was in high school, he threw him out a window and he had to be hospitalized for a week. It’s kind of sad, he has all these scars on his chest now and he never wants to tell girls that’s what happened, and besides it doesn’t even sound real, so he just says it was a car accident. Mina doesn’t even know yet.”

Mag was stunned into silence, and Amber instantly felt guilty for over-sharing.

“I’m sorry. I really shouldn’t have told you--”

Amber was interrupted by Mag pulling her close and kissing her tenderly.

“Amber. I will always be here for you. You know that, right?”

“I know,” Amber answered evasively, letting her eyes drop to the shag carpet.

“No, look at me.” Mag tilted her chin up, and Amber finally let herself look through Mag’s thick glasses into her pale blue eyes. “I mean it. I will always, always be here for you. And I want you to believe me when I say that.”

Amber kissed her again, not sure if it was a reaction, an answer, neither, or both. But Mag seemed to get the message, whatever it may have been, and didn’t ask for further clarification.

When they fell asleep that night, in Amber’s bed instead of Mag’s, the streetlamp outside the open window seemed to cast a halo around her sleeping face, and this serene image was probably the reason Amber dreamt of Mag that night, in a white dress with huge, soft angel wings. When they awoke the next morning, with limbs still entangled and foreheads still close, all poor Amber could think was:  I am thoroughly fucked.


	7. Cerebral Thunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A question is asked, and I'm sure all of you can guess what the answer is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for this being the shortest chapter to date, but I thought this event was important enough that it needed to be set aside on its own.

 

Don't wanna call you in the night time

Don't wanna give you all my pieces

Don't wanna hand you all my troubles

Don't wanna give you all my demons

You'll have to watch me struggle from several rooms away

But tonight, I need you to stay

\-- “The Run and Go,” Twenty One Pilots

 

Within three weeks, the girls were going on real dates, taking each other to dinner and movies, bringing each other flowers on date nights, carpooling. Dr. Wallace had even taken notice of Amber, remembered her name. 

One day he’d said with a smile, as Amber arrived to pick her up from work, “Mag and Shi have been talking a lot about you today…”

Before he’d even finished his sentence, she heard an almost simultaneous hiss of “Dad!” and “Nathan!” and she couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Oh, they seem to think I’m ruining the surprise. I’ll be quiet now.” In a melodramatic gesture, Nathan put an index finger over his lips and started to back away with comically large steps.

“Dr. Wallace, I didn’t know you had a sense of humor,” Amber chided him lightly, trying to feel out the boundaries and see what was appropriate and what was not.

“Please, call me Nathan. I’m not like regular dads, I’m a cool dad. Any friend of my dear Shilo’s is a friend of mine.”

“Dad, I… Dad.” Shilo’s face fell into her hand and Mag keeled over the nearby counter in ringing laughter.

“What? I thought it would be funny, you know. Like  Mean Girls. ” Poor Nathan looked wounded that his daughter hadn’t found his reference witty.

“I know that’s from  Mean Girls,  Dad. And now I’m kicking myself for ever showing it to you.” She walked over to him and kissed his cheek in parting. “I gotta go, okay? Amber needs help with a paper.”

“Okay. Be home by 11?”

She sighed and made a face at Amber, turning briefly away from the doctor. “Yes, Dad. I’ll text you if something comes up.”

“Okay. Be safe, honey! I love you!” he called after her.

As soon as the three of them were out the door, Shilo made an exaggerated gagging sound and threw her head back in disgust,

“What? He’s sweet,” Amber threw her arm around Shilo’s shoulders as they walked back to the car.

“I know he is. We had some real issues with each other when I was sixteen and seventeen, and we’ve worked most of those out, I just wish he had someone in his life other than me, for God’s sake.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, he’s not possessive, he’s not weird about me having a life, he just gets  lonely. He has like these vague poker buddies he jams out with once a month, but none of them are close. I’m all he has most of the time and it makes me tired.”

“Should we find him a girlfriend?” Mag asked. “Or a boyfriend?”

“Did you just use the phrase  jams out  in a sentence?” Amber laughed into her shoulder. “Damn it, Shilo, I didn’t know we were in the fucking ‘90s still.”

“I didn’t ask for your input, Amber,” she answered, reaching over to pinch the end of her nose. 

They drove down to the apartment and as soon as they got there, Shilo, in a very suspicious manner, said she was going to walk to the convenience store on the next block over and get a snack, resisting when Amber said there were snacks in the apartment.

“I’ll be back,” she promised, grabbing her purse and darting to the sidewalk.

“That was weird,” Amber mused as they got inside.

“What was?” Mag asked, setting her purse on the recliner and snuggling into the sofa. 

“Shilo just leaving like that. Is she going to go fuck what’s-their-name or something?”

“No. I...might have asked her to give us some alone time,” Mag admitted, pulling her long hair back into a ponytail.

Amber launched herself over the arm of the sofa, lithely pulling herself close to the other girl. “Just couldn’t wait for a kiss, could you?”

“That’s not actually where I was going with that. I mean, yes, but there was something I wanted to ask you first,” Mag admitted, looking up at Amber through her thick lashes.

The taller redhead knew where this was going already, but couldn’t wait to hear her say it.

“Amber, will you be my girlf--”

Amber grabbed her by the ponytail and snatched her in for a fierce, lip-biting, hair-pulling kiss.

After they were done and panting into each other’s mouths, Amber pressed her forehead into Mag’s and whispered, “For formality’s sake, yes.”

They laughed and kissed again, in sheer ecstasy.

“Was that what Nathan was talking about? The whole you asking me out thing?” she asked, taking Mag’s hair down so she could play with it.

“It was. He heard me talking about it to Shilo and he got all excited. I’m like a second daughter to him, you know, so he kind of takes an active interest in my life.”

Amber couldn’t help but smile. “That’s sweet. Does he approve of me?”

“He thinks you’re great. He’s super excited about the fact that we’re together.”

“You know what this calls for, right?” Amber asked, pulling her phone from her back pocket. 

“I swear, if you say a celebratory Instagram post--”

“Say cheese, motherfucker!” Amber exclaimed, snapping a candid selfie before Mag could hide her face. The end result was positively adorable-- a grin the size of a small country on Amber’s face, and Mag half-blurred in warm laughter.

As Amber posted it, snuggling close to her new girlfriend and taking her time with caption and emoji choices, Mag folded her arms around her shoulders.

“Aren’t you worried about what your dad will say?” Mag asked. 

“A little. But I’ve had to tiptoe around his controlling behaviors all my life. Even if this is the worst decision I ever make, this is the first I’ve ever made on my own, and I will stand by this, by you, no matter what.” Amber kissed her cheek gently. “I’m my own person. And I will be my own person, even if it bites me in the ass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And by the way, no, your eyes did not deceive you. Nathan Wallace did just quote Mean Girls. You're welcome. :)


End file.
